I Tri and Craft

thoughts from a mother of boys, a marathoner, a triathlete, a crafter, a wife, and a scientist


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Bye-Bye Binky. How we weaned the pacifier

The pacifier, the binky, the mouth plug, the whatever you call it…

As parents we love them and hate them.

We love how they calm our babies down and gets them to stop crying.

We hate how dependent they become to them, how they look blocking that cute little smile, and how it can be a nightmare to wean the baby off them.

This would be such a sweet picture of Ian, with out that binky!

This would be such a sweet picture of Ian, with out that binky!

We, as parents, can also become addicted to the pacifier.  It is a quick, easy, fail safe way to sooth an upset child.

Some parents are totally opposed to them, some insist their children have one, while some just let the infant decided.

The American Academy of Pediatrics have concluded that pacifiers, among other steps, might help to reduce the instances in SIDS for babies who are more vulnerable to it.  They recommend introducing it only after the first month if baby is  breast-feeding and for no longer then 12 months.  They also say not to force your child to take one; my nephew would have nothing to do with one.

When I was pregnant with Ian, I had decided I would not force the issue one way or the other.

Ian was four weeks early and had a hard time nursing.  He wouldn’t/couldn’t latch on.  But he wanted to suckle on something so I had asked one nurse for a pacifier.  She flat-out refused me.  She told me it would only make things worse for him and eating. (She was also not very nice about our issues breast-feeding)  So I waited until shift change and asked the new nurse.

She brought Ian one of the Soothie pacifiers that they give out at most hospitals.  It is designed more like a bottle nipple and made out of one piece of silicon.

For about a week I had to pump and then feed Ian with a syringe, tube and a finger in his mouth.  This is not really doable with one person.  So instead of a finger I would have him suck on his pacifier, while I plunged the syringe releasing milk in his mouth.  It was these two actions together that helped him figure out how to suckle to get milk.

However, Ian became increasingly dependent on the pacifier to calm him and to help him to sleep.

ByeByeBinky11

I became more dependent on it so he wouldn’t cry in public.

ByeByeBinky12

I figured I would wean him off the pacifier around two-years old.  But we had a lot of new things happening to him, we made a trip out to the east coast, he was getting a sibling, his dad was working out-of-town, he was changing to a toddler bed and getting potty trained.  So I figured I could let him keep his binky.

Ian and Baby Sid.  Both with binkys...

Ian and Baby Sid. Both with a binky…

I decided to wait till he turned three.  I am not sure why we are dependent on some kind of mile-stone to in order to make this type of change.  But that was the one I chose.

When he was approaching his third birthday we discussed what would be different about this age.  One of the things I told him was that he wouldn’t get his binky anymore.  I should note that after the age of two I didn’t really let him have it unless it involved sleeping or sickness.

I decided that we would go to Build a Bear and he could pick out a stuffed animal.  He would then have to say good-bye to the binky and place it in the stuffed animal.  That way he would always have it, just not in his mouth.

Shortly after his birthday we were going to the mall for Easter Bunny pictures and he decided that he was ready to trade his binky for a stuffed animal.

He decided on a penguin, he loves penguins, from the movie Happy Feet.  It has a bow tie on that lights up.

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He chose sound box that plays the Darth Vader march from Star Wars.

ByeByeBinky02 ByeByeBinky03

The employee had him give his binky a kiss, say good-bye to it and place it the penguin.

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It was great that she had him put it there, so it didn’t appear to him that she was taking it away.

ByeByeBinky06 ByeByeBinky07

He went to sleep the first night without any issues, but he wanted his binky when he woke up.  He was pretty upset when he couldn’t get it out of the penguin.  When he was more awake, he didn’t find it quite so upsetting.

I would give him his penguin and explain again how his binky is inside it, because he was a big boy and didn’t need it in his mouth anymore.

He has only asked for it a couple of times since.  I thought it would be an issue because his brother now uses one, but he understands that Baby Sid is a baby and that is why he gets one.  Although, Ian does like to take it away from Baby Sid when he wakes up.  Ian says “Baby Sid not need dis, he awake now” and then puts it in the baby crib.

I have decided that I will take away Sid’s around his first birthday.  By that time he no longer needs it to learn to suckle and needs to learn to sooth himself with out it.  Plus I feel he is too young to put up a protest about it.

Baby Sid's first Halloween, with a binky

Baby Sid’s first Halloween, with a binky

I also think it will be easier on Sid because he doesn’t really depend on it like Ian did.  In fact when he was younger he didn’t really like it.  I am also trying to limit the amount of time he has it.
 

There is a book written by Melissa Burnett called The Paci Fairy.  It is a story book designed to help wean your child off the pacifier with some tips to help you.  On her website you can download a form for your child to write a letter to the Paci Fairy.  I have not read this book, but I do know someone who has used it.

Whatever your feelings are about the pacifier, make the choices that are right for you and your family.
 

Click here to read the AAP guide lines for pacifier use.


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10 Things I don’t (really) miss since becoming a parent

Since I became a parent three years ago I sometimes find myself remembering with fondness our life before kids.  I don’t wish I had that life again, I enjoyed it, but I love being a mom.

There are just a few things I sometimes miss, like stopping by the bar after work to meet up with my husband and friends.  Or being able to quickly stop by the store to grab something, without it being a big production to bring the kids along, or figuring out who will watch them.

While those things are nice, I wouldn’t trade what I have for anything.  Not even for a 1950′ Corvette, or a beach house on Kauai’

1956 Chevrolet Corvette

Well maybe I would….

But there are somethings I do not miss, like stuff that is just highly overrated luxuries.

1) Sleep

OK, so I might miss it sometimes, but really who needs it?  We can sleep when we are dead, right?  Losing sleep means that I am there for my kids when they need me, no matter when it is.  If they are scared, hungry or just can’t sleep, they know they can come to me for comfort.  Sometimes they just need me to hold them while they sleep.

Sleeping Baby Sid

2) Warm meals

While it has been a while since I have been able to eat my dinner while it is still warm, I know my child is.  I know he is eating a warm healthy (sometimes just healthyish) meal because I am taking the time to feed him.  He might not always want it, and fights me about eating it, but I know he is well nourished.  When you have to feed two kids, the last thing you get to do is feed yourself.  At least until they are all done, and sometimes after they are in bed.

Dinner, I don't get to eat warm

3) Being able to pee, or shower, or do anything by myself

I don’t need visitors with my hygiene practices but I know that when he comes barging into the bathroom it is because he just wants to be with me.  I know my children love me because they won’t leave me alone.  Besides, who doesn’t enjoy having a conversation while brushing your teeth?

4) Clean clothes

When Ian was a baby he spit-up all the time, now Baby Sid does the same thing.  When Ian started to eat food the spit up on my clothes changed to food particles.  Either from his mouth or his grubby little hands.  Baby Sid likes to feed himself, so needless to say food gets everywhere, especially on me.  Sometimes I would be at work and smell baby vomit only to realize Baby Sid had spit-up on my shoulder.

 

Baby Sid

But that is why we have washing machines.  But all this mess is OK because it means my boys have enough food in their bellies.

5) Walking at any pace I want to

There is nothing better than strolling along at a snail’s pace with a three-year’s old tiny hand clutching your fingers.  Their little legs take little strides and it takes FOREVER to get anywhere.

But I am grateful my son has the ability to use his legs, because there are some that don’t.  I will walk at any pace he sets as long as he walks with me.

Ian walking with Sid

6) Watching something on TV that doesn’t air on Disney Jr

I used to watch crime shows, among other things, whenever I wanted.  Now when the TV is on it plays Disney Channel, Ninjago, TMNT, Star Wars, or some other superhero show.  My shows fill up our DVR because I never get the chance to watch them.  But that’s OK because my son is happy, and it could be worse.

7) Having an adult conversation with out constant interruptions

It is such a joy to be able to talk to an adult sometimes and not have a conversation about what this Lego guy or that action figure is doing.  However Ian usually likes to join those conversations and ask questions, lots of questions.

I love the sound of his voice and they way he pronounces words.  I love the way his mind works and the things he says.  I am always happy to hear what he says.

the boys

“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what.  If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big.  Because to them all of it has been big stuff.”  ~ Catherine M. Wallace

8) Carrying only my purse

Gone are the days where I can grab my coat and purse then leave the house. Now I have more bags than I have hands to carry them.

I must make sure to get whatever the boys might need as we away from the house.  Will Ian need a snack or a change of clothes?  Will Baby Sid need a bottle, or will I be able to nurse him?  If I feed him a bottle I will need to pump, so I must bring that too.

Diapers, bibs, burp cloths, clothes, snacks, drinks, toys, stroller, camera, pump….

9) Getting ready to leave the house in 5 minutes

Getting all the things mentioned above takes time.  I have to carefully plan ahead and prepare.  Check the diaper bag for the necessities.  Get the food or bottles together and so forth.

Maybe I over-prepare but at least I know we will be ready to face whatever the day brings.

 

Ian

Plus it takes some time to look this stylish, and Ian has to gather all the things he needs to bring.

10) My sanity

Really though, who needs it?

While they might have stolen my sanity, I am sure happier for it.

 


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Regrets? Nope, not me, not a one!

This Kid!

Ian, held by dad, boogieing on the dance floor

Ian, held by dad, boogieing on the dance floor

I can not even begin to tell you me feelings for this little boy.  I try not to get all mushy but the other night reminded me how lucky I am to have him.

My son is not the best eater.

Yes, family members, he gets that from me.

It’s not that he won’t eat, well not really.  He doesn’t like to eat, the process, the concept, whatever it is, he doesn’t like it.

I can work with a picky eater, but that is not really what his issue is.

He is a squirrel.  He puts food in his cheek, chewing on it forever.  In the past I have found bacon still in his mouth hours after breakfast was over.

This is particularly frustrating at dinner time.  I think I am a very patient person, but even this behavior gets to me after a while.

So here we are Monday night.  I wasn’t feeling well, my husband was elsewhere, Sid was teething and grumpy, it was very hot in our house.

After finally getting dinner made and on the table, I had to feed myself, Baby Sid, who is a very unhappy little baby, and now Ian won’t swallow his food.

I had to get upset with him and put him to bed, which makes him upset and then he tells me he will finish, then he does well for a minute and back again.  Then I get upset again…

It is a vicious cycle.

So after finally getting him feed, the baby feed and asleep and all the other crap I had to do, it was about 9:30 or 10 o’clock and Ian was still awake.

He came out of his room and said “Mama, you lay wit me?”

Normally I don’t, because I don’t want him to depend on me to go to sleep.  But tonight I gave in, we had a hard night and I am ever so paranoid about him feeling unloved or abandoned or some other sad emotion.

After laying there for a few minutes he is starting to drift off.  He reaches over and touches my arm.  Those little fingers travel down to my hand and clasps it.

After a few minutes he wants to roll on to his side so he takes my hand and transfer it to the other one before letting go.

And then he drifts off to sleep.

My cousin took pictures of us when I was pregnant with Baby Sid

My cousin took pictures of us when I was pregnant with Baby Sid

My heart just melted.

Here I am, thinking I have ruined my child’s psyche by fighting with him over dinner.  I wonder how he will forgive me for making dinner time an unpleasant event  and he doesn’t even think about it.

He just knows that I am his mom and I love him no matter what and he loves me with equal fervor.  And that he wanted me near him when he went to bed and I was there for him.

Life just doesn’t get better than this.

My aunt took this at their Christmas party this past year

My aunt took this at their Christmas party this past year

So, no I have no regrets about my life and the decisions I made.  Because every step I took brought me to where I am today and standing next to me is the family that I cherish with every breath I take.

These boys complete me.

Happy Parenting

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Let’s Count it Down

It’s March.

Yep, already the third month of 2013.

Where did the time go?

There are lots of good things about March.

  • St. Patrick‘s Day.  OK, so we don’t celebrate it like we used to, but it is still a great holiday.

someecards.com - I used to be able to party all weekend. Now, a night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.

  • Ian’s Birthday.
  • This year Easter will be celebrated in March.

I have already found great Ideas on Pinterest for decorating Easter Eggs.

 

 

But the greatest thing about this month will be the premier of the HBO series Game of Thrones!

Yep, that’s right March 31, 2013.

23 days and counting….

Source: io9.com via Dawn Marie on Pinterest

 

 

Yes, I have read all the books.

Yes, I read them all before there was a TV show.

Yes, I have read them multiple times.

Yes, I will read them again.

 

 

Winter is coming

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Who is your favorite character?