Just my thoughts | I Tri and Craft

Raising a toddler reminds me everyday that courtesies and manners needs to be taught.

I wanted my son to be polite so when he was learning to talk I also tried to teach him some manners. When I would give him something I would tell him ‘thank you’ so that when he received something he would say it.

Of course that meant he would say ‘thank you’ when he wanted something.

He is very polite and uses ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ all the time now. OK, sometimes he has to be reminded.

When I was all prego and riding the bus to work, one day an elderly woman got up to offer me a seat. Yep, an elder woman, even though there was all these young men around but they were too absorbed in what they were doing with their electronics to notice me waddling on to the bus. I of course, didn’t take her seat.

I have also had a door close on me because the person walking into the door in front of me didn’t notice I was right behind them. That one really irks me.

I bring this up because sometimes I wonder if parents are teaching manners anymore or if we are becoming so self-absorbed that we are just loosing them.

Tonight, however, I had a wonderful experience of courtesy by not one but two strangers. So I had to share it.

I picked up the boys from my sisters after work.

Me: Ian do you need to go pee before we leave

Ian: nope

4 miles from my sister’s house, but too far from home yet.

Ian: I need to go pee-pee

ok, there was an Arco station on my side of the street and a Chevron station on the opposite side. I decided to go to the Chevron because I thought it would be cleaner, even if I had to wait to cross traffic. Remember, I have a toddler who has only been potty trained for about four months now, so time is of the essence.

We pulled into the gas station, which was busy, and parked. I had to get Ian and Baby Sid out of the car. When I walked up to the store an employee ran up to hold the door open for me since I was carrying the baby’s car seat and holding Ian’s hand.

Oh and this restroom was a unisex one so it had a toilet and a floor urinal. So of course he wanted to pee in the urinal! Exciting stuff for a three-year old boy.

When we left the store another employee was washing my windows. He told me “I thought Batman needed to see out clean windows to fight crime.” Now I wasn’t getting gas, so this is not something that they do to parked cars.

All the employees were really nice and pleasant so it made the quick stop a nice one for me. It is reassuring to know that there are still courteous people out there.

And just for fun here the conversation between Ian and I when leaving the store.

Ian: I want some candy. How bout dis one? hmmm…maybe dis one? oh, dis one looks good.

Me: nope, no candy. I didn’t bring my purse in so I don’t have any money to buy candy. Maybe, next time.

Ian: oh, ok.

Ian (in the car): I got some money. I got money, for me got candy next time.

Me: alright, next time we go to the store I will let you buy some candy

Ian (while at a stop light in front of a Walgreens): dat da store wit candy? I buy candy der?

Me: nope, that store only sells medicine.

Ian: oh, medicine for Baby Sid?

Me: well medicine for anyone

Ian: oh, I need some medicine. I need medicine to go down, down in my belly.

Me: why?

Ian: I have a cold. I don’t feel good (he is not sick, by the way)

Oh, this kid just kills me! I am not sure how we went from him wanting candy to him wanting medicine.

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We have all seen it, the Like Button. I don’t know if Facebook was the first to add a like option, or if it was a blog like WordPress to do it. The history lesson seemed irrelevant to me at the moment.

I just know it has powered a craze to get liked! I enjoy the fact that I can show my support of a comment or picture without having to leave a comment saying how great the post was. Although, I find myself looking for a ‘like’ button on everything! I want a ‘like’ button on emails, texts, phone calls, things I see walking around….

However, I have found that I now hold my liking in reserve. I never like the viral pictures that float around Facebook. I don’t know why but I just can’t do it. Even the ones that are attached to a picture of an object and say “like if you remember this item.”

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I saw this picture on Pinterest once and thought it was so funny. I tried to find the original source, but can’t. I have the link to where I found the picture though.

The other trend that has been happening to is “If I get 1,000,000,000 my dad said I could get a dog” or go to Disneyland, or still love me…or some other such nonsense. I don’t ‘like’ these posts either. I don’t know why but I hold my likes in reserve for family and friends that deserve them.

Then why do I hold my breath till someone likes my post? And really what difference does it make? Do we get a reward for having a large number of ‘likes’?

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We all need validation, for the things we say, for the things we do, how we look, and everything in between. It makes us feel good and, well….Liked. I love to see the notification on the top banner of my blog indicating someone has liked one of my posts, or the similar notification on Facebook.

It is nice to get comments on our blogs because it means someone is reading them and enjoying the words we have put down to paper, err, um, I mean screen. With this ability is the option to not reveal whom is leaving the comment. Not that you have to put that much information down when you comment, nor does it even need to be accurate.

I feel this anonymity has led us to be less tactful with the things we say. Recently I came across a pin on Pinterst about how to cut your boy’s hair. I wasn’t looking for a tutorial on cutting my son’s hair at home, but I went to the blog to check it out. I know how to use a razor and a pair of scissors but I don’t think I would attempt more than a buzz cut at home.

However I wanted to look read the tutorial to see if maybe, just maybe I could cut my son’s ragamuffin hair (see picture above), that way people will stop calling him a girl! I was going to leave a comment about how nice a tutorial it was and would love a video, but I wanted to make sure no one else had made a similar comment. I don’t like to ask a question that had already been asked and answered. So I started reading the comments and was appalled at the rudeness of some of them.

There were others in her profession that didn’t like the fact that she posted a tutorial about something they all spent money to learn. That lead others to write in her defense and then others to write more negative comments about her post, then others to write negative comments about the negative comments. Her innocent post meant to help mothers turned into a debate about blog posts.

Upon reading the comments I noticed that the comments that said bad things about the author were written by anonymous. It made me wonder if those people would have been so forth coming with their negative comments if they couldn’t be anonymous.

It is a lot harder to say mean things when we are face to face with people and they know our name. I felt a strong urge to stand up and defend her with my own comment, but I would then be just adding fuel to the fire. The comment section of her blog post it not a place to debate or berate other people for their opinion. And that would make me no better than the other negative people.

The great thing about the internet is: we don’t have to read what we don’t want to! I know, shocking right? If you don’t like a blog post or website or someone’s opinion, don’t read it.

There is a lot out there in cyber space. Some of it is good, some of it is bad. Some of it is positive, some of it is negative. Some of it is correct and some of it is wrong. There is no need to add to the negativity and false information.

I don’t think we should “like” everything, and I don’t think we should hide behind anonymity to berate others work. So please be nice, play well with others, and don’t compete for a number of ‘likes’.

but go ahead and ‘like’ this post…