OK, so I don’t have an easy answer for this topic. I did lots of reading and research on this topic. Nothing helped me.
My oldest son is two and a half years old. Last fall, when he was about eighteen months old, we started introducing the toilet to him. I would put him on the toilet and we would sit there singing songs or reading books till he went and then I would point out to him what he did.
I would then talk to him about it while changing his diaper and suggest he use the bathroom instead. This worked and I was very hopeful for potty training success. But then the Christmas holidays came and we got busy so potty training went on the back burner.
So when the new year came we started again. Then he would refuse and flip out when I tried to put him on the toilet. I knew couldn’t force it because that would only make it worse for him. So we took a break.
For the next six months or so he would sometimes be ok with it and sometimes not. One day in the spring he didn’t want to wear a diaper, since he was staying home with my mother-in-law I let him. I don’t know what happened that day, but he wouldn’t use the toilet for months after.
As the summer came nearer I really wanted to get him trained, especially since the new baby would be here in Sept. My son is a very stubborn boy, if I pushed him too hard he would rebel. So we had to talk about it all the time and when we stayed home for the day I would put him in big boy pants.
Everyone would tell me that it is ok he is not trained, boys are harder than girls, or their kids weren’t trained till three, or he just isn’t ready yet.
I didn’t believe any of those reasons. He knew what was going on. He knew when he had to go to the bathroom, how to hold it if he wanted to. The problem was me. As much as I disliked changing diapers, it was much more convenient then taking him to the bathroom all the time.
I couldn’t take the time off work to stay home with him because I was going on maternity leave soon. I decided to wait till I was on leave to train him.
One Monday I decided it was time. From the time he woke up till the time he went to sleep he wore big boy pants and we didn’t leave the house. He did great. It only took a couple of days for him to figure it out.
When he would have an accident we would talk about it, clean him up and change clothes. I would then remind him to tell me when he has to go.
We had some accidents, and we still do every once in a while, but over all he is trained. I still put him in a diaper for bed time at night, but when he is still awake he tells me when he has to go, and sometimes he wakes up to tell me.
I still constantly ask him if he needs to go, because sometimes he forgets and gets sidetracked. He isn’t a master at holding it yet.
For me I think potty training is different for everyone and if you trust the kid then they will know when it is time. I also learned patience is necessary.